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Blondie isn't my real name (obviously), just a pseudonym until I realise how stupid it sounds. Most stuff I upload will be pencil drawings but look out for possible web comics or stories in the future... way in the futre... way, way, way in the future.
So on the Sunday a couple weeks back I did a blog about my life being static and missing someone and the following Wednesday I was offered paid (part-time) work and the Thursday night, the person I had been missing for 18 months (and a few days) started speaking to me again. So naturally this is me moaning about the oh-so sad story of never waking up to find Johnny Depp in my bed and a lifetime supply of chocolate brownies.
Anyway, on a more serious note I'm thinking of posting my random rambling thoughts more often. What I'm trying to do with my life, trying to become a doctor is going to take several years; 4 uni, 2 training, atleast 1 if not 2-3 before I can even start anything. The 6 years of education/training, well it's like what I was saying to someone the other day, I am fine with these things taking up a big chunk of my life if I enjoy that time but if you don't enjoy yourself then it feels like a part of yourself that's been cut away and you can't get back. This past year+ and the next 1-3 years is the problem, this past year+ I've not really accomplished what I wanted and needed for my uni application, most of this has been out of my control due to my lack experience, confidence or knowledge. But I'm achieving stuff, I've become a first aider, I'm volunteering at a hospital, I've greatly improved my skills with people and hopefully will greatly improve again. I'm on the right track to get into Medicine but this past year still feels like a waste. I've not really lived, I've only survived, I want happiness, I want to be happy in myself and I want to wander down the streets, tipping down in rain, music blasting and to just smile at that sight of some random and silly little thing.
I was watching The Pursuit of Happyness the other day and I remember this one bit where he's talking about that phrase; that happiness isn't just given but must be fought for. I don't want to make it sound like things ever got that bad or anything but the thought of "giving up" has crossed my mind and in my head I reasoned that it was never an option. It was from this that I thought if I have no choice but to carry on then I should make the most of all this.
So I've decided (for the millionth time) I'm going to sort my life out. And back to the reason for these random ramblings, I am doing these to sort of get my thoughts out and hopefully focus my ideas. I don't mean I'm just going to write a blog and suddenly my life will be sorted. I've tried so many things to sort my life out and I will probably have to try a million things before I get it right but this is a start.